God says in Proverbs 22:6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
I prayed and cried for this child for about 6 years, went from specialist to specialist, two in-vitro treatments, then God blessed me with a pregnancy. Even when I didn’t have the easiest 35 weeks of pregnancy, I still got to hold my baby and then take him home a couple weeks later. We prayed to raise our kid with God as our guide. A couple of years later, my husband suddenly passed away, and I found myself as the only parent.
The whole parenting responsibility fell on my shoulders that night. I did not find myself questioning why God was doing that to me. I knew God had a plan, and whatever that plan was, I had to trust Him. So I would just carry on, one day at a time. Every night and every morning, we would pray out loud for God to take care of us, to protect us. For God to grant me with wisdom and with patience, and for God to help the kid to do what mama said. Has it been perfect? Ha! Not by a millimeter!
See, when husband passed away, I had just graduated from nursing school and I still hadn’t passed the NCLEX (if you are or if you know a nurse, you know what I’m talking about). I still had to deal with everything that happens after someone passes away and study and be a mom and everything else. Well, God helped me pass the NCLEX and get a job. God led me to a daycare that opened at 6 am and closed at midnight at the time. God knew what we needed and He took care of our business. I was able to do my three 12-hr shifts, and all was good until the kid had to start kindergarten.
We prayed, God answered our prayers. God led me to a job that I could work from home and take care of the kid’s needs. The kid was taken care of, but I went downhill. I was working nights, barely sleeping during the days, I was sleep deprived, stressed out, the house was a mess, I was a mess. My kid was alright, but he needed his mama happy, not all stressed out with a non-existent patience. I didn’t go through two in-vitro’s and a 2-week NICU stay to be an awful mama to the kid!
Through this whole ordeal, our constant was church. We had a routine, first IHOP and then church. We kept praying, asking for God to give mama an answer. I was done giving a lousy example to my kid, and I prayed God to help me be a better mama. I didn’t want to screw up my kid, pushing him down the wrong path because I was stressed out all the time. He was just being a kid and I was faster than anybody in town to blow it out of proportion.
So I got down on my knees, how can I raise my kid like this? How can I show him what a Proverbs 31 mom is if all I do is blow up like a mad woman? Well, I had to let go of my stone, I mean job. It only took 3 times before they let me go. Once I finally put myself in God’s hands and trust Him, He started leaving me breadcrumbs to follow, and I took them and followed them. God had given me this blessing, He gave me this kid as a gift, and all I wanted was to raise my kid so he could serve God, for him to be a man of God. God answer my prayers, and what was about to happen was better than I expected.
My relationship with my kid grew tighter. The kid actually responded so much better. His behavior at home, school and daycare got so much better. His performance at sports and martial arts got so much better. Our arguments started going away as my stress level went down after being able to sleep like a regular human being. I was more patient and more loving, just like a “normal” mom should I guess. We started ready bedtime prayers, and it was our time together with God. And at church, I mean he was good at Bibleland but now, his teachers said he was doing so much better! He memorized verses and would say them in front of all the kids. He was flourishing, and it was me who was blocking that for him.
Summer was good, but now that he started second grade, I’m really seeing God’s hand in my kid. He’s shining all on his own, not that he didn’t before, but it’s all him now, and it’s everywhere. God has given him this beautiful light and I pray that I don’t become a stone in his path. He goes and talks to the elders at church on his own, he became acquainted with the worship team, the greeters and the ushers, he helps with opening areas for people to sit. This past Sunday, the worship choir invited him up to worship with them during their practice time. It was awesome to see that. We missed church a couple weeks ago because there was a storm in town with flooding and all that. Sam said rain was not an excuse to miss church, and that we should not miss church again because of the rain. I smiled, and told him we wouldn’t miss church anymore.
I’m his mother, what else can I say? Of course I would say he’s the most amazing kid ever. The thing is, I’m not the only one saying it. Other people see it and say it as well. He’s caring, and he’s kind and polite. He helps people, he sees a need and he helps. He has initiative, he’s thinking ahead. We spent time together, we talk, we discuss things, we build Legos together, we practice martial arts together, he knows I have his back from here to the moon and back, so he’s able to do his thing.
I’m still praying for God to guide me and grant me wisdom and patience, to help me be a mom that actually practices Proverbs 22:6 in real life. I pray for God to use us both to serve Him and to help us be a testimony of His glory. I pray for God to grant me with many years to see the gift He has blessed me with grow up and become a man. A man who will serve Him, and form his own family and help them find their way to serve God as well.
Meanwhile, can I tell you I’m beyond proud of my kid? I am so proud of him! In the meantime, I’ll continue to follow God and continue raising him with God’s help, and will continue to keep an eye on him while staying behind, so he can do his thing and shine on his own. You know, like a mama bear taking care of her only cub.