Deep inside everybody wants to be loved and accepted. That means you have to put yourself out there, and that brings vulnerability and a huge chance of hitting the jackpot or getting hurt. It also requires a great amount of honesty and integrity, and sadly it doesn’t matter what they say, at the end they are nothing but another shiny piece of glass and not the diamond they said they were.
The kid and I have been praying for two years for God to send the man who would complete our tiny itty bitty family. So like I said in my previous post, this guy shows up in my radar and checks almost every single item on my list. Finally, after every storm and every heart break this guy finally comes across as someone who seems to be your other half, or could it be just wishful thinking?
Well, the guy pretty much portrayed himself as the poster child for honesty and integrity. So by the time I entertained the thought of possibly considering to open my heart, something changed. I didn’t know what it was, but something was just not right. I continued to pray and wait, leaving it up to God is really the only way to go because if I do it by myself, then I would drive myself crazy and then say or do something that I may regret.
Why is honesty and integrity such a big deal anyways? Because nothing works out without these two, and these apply for any relationship if you think about it. When you have integrity, you tell the truth no matter how pretty or ugly it is, and when you’re honest you are real and upright about everything. Not everybody out there actually understands the meaning of these qualities, they think and say they do, but they’re only fooling themselves.
So communication started getting challenging. The guy got sick then he had to travel for a whole week. Alright, I can understand all that, I mean the guy is busy and all but the communication thing was still off. So, the week is over, he’s better and he’s back, something was still not in the right place. So I asked if we could get together and have dinner. Radio silence.
Two days later I texted good bye. I got the chatter box back! The guy confesses that two weeks ago he ran into his ex and now he’s having a really hard time deciding between someone who is just like him (as in me) and his ex who is just beautiful but every guy hits on her, and she’s just a good person and it just went on and on. Dude, wait a minute here, slam the brakes and hold your horses! See? I knew something was off.
I won’t bore you with all kinds of arguments from him, the bottom line was this: he didn’t tell me for two straight weeks that he had run into her. That’s omission of truth, therefore a lie. I don’t care how great or not the woman is or why he’s having a difficult time deciding, let me decide for you dude, you didn’t tell me the truth, you led me on for two solid weeks and neglected to tell me you wanted to hold on to your past.
The guy said he had been honest and upfront with me from the very beginning. I beg to differ but you weren’t, you kept this information from me for two weeks, and that right there is a load of dishonesty and it undermines all the integrity you said you had. At the end of the day, his reasoning only served to make him feel better about the whole situation, but only exposed him as a liar and people, this is not high school anymore!
What you tell yourself and what the world see are two different things. In order to make it in this world, both versions have to be the same otherwise it is just a total waste of time for everyone involved. You do as you say and say as you do. Thankfully, we didn’t get that far and that’s really good. The guy obviously doesn’t know what he wants, but I do and I don’t want him at all in my world.
The more I walk the road of life, the more convinced I get that people have to make sense all across the board. You say you are something, your actions should back that up. That’s just having integrity and being honest about it. You may think that you’re doing the world a favor by telling them what they want to hear instead of the truth, but at the end of the day, you will only shine as just another piece of glass and not as the diamond you claim to be.
This guy might have made it harder for the next prospect. It is not a lost cause though because I know God takes care of those who believe and have faith in Him. Our prayers still stand and we will continue to wait for the right man to complete our family. Another lesson learned, and a reaffirmation that being honest and having integrity still go long ways.